After work one day, I was rushing through the grocery store to pick up a few items when a brief, unexpected encounter gave me quite the lift.
As I pushed my cart past another customer, focused and in a hurry, the woman looked up and told me how nice I looked in the outfit I was wearing.
I stopped in my tracks.
My face lit up, I probably blushed a bit, and then graciously thanked her.
The exchange took no more than 30 seconds, but that’s all it took for a total stranger to make my day — and remind me of the power of a simple compliment.
After that, I realized that I should do a better job of finding those little moments to brighten other people’s days, whether it’s a flattering comment about their looks — like “That dress looks fantastic on you” — or a compliment about a job well done on a special project at work.
Valerie Latona, editor-in-chief of Shape magazine, wrote in the February 2009 issue about the power of a compliment.
“When someone offers you a compliment, be it ‘Wow, you look fabulous today’ or ‘Those jeans look amazing on you,’ the lift you get is hard to beat,” Latona writes. “I know, as a co-worker recently told me all my hard-core post-baby workouts have really been paying off. … After hearing those flattering words, I was in a brighter mood for the rest of the day — and found it much easier to resist those double-chocolate cupcakes being passed around the office.”
Latona cited a new study that reveals that “a single compliment is all it takes for you to feel more assured about your looks.”
She added that the research also revealed that doling out praise builds your confidence, too.
The writer of an “I’m a nice person” blog recently talked about compliments.
“People love compliments,” the blogger wrote. “It feels good when someone notices you, and it feels better when they approve of something you’ve done. We all have people we deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes they only need one simple compliment to make their day. You can find plenty of opportunities to pay a compliment to your co-workers, friends, family members, or schoolmates.
“Many people get new clothes, new shoes, new hairstyles, new jewelry, etc. and they like to wear these items to look and feel good about themselves. When you see one of your co-workers, schoolmates, or friends you can pay them a compliment on their new clothes or accessories to help put them in a good mood.
“For example, You could ask … ‘Is that a new sweater?’ If they answer yes you can say, ‘It looks really great on you.’ If they answer no you could add ‘Oh, well I don’t (know) what it is, but something about you really shines brightly today.’ It just might be the thing they need to hear to put them in a better mood. …
“You may be surprised as to how much your simple compliment can change their attitude.”
A WebMD article highlights research by Courtney Fea and colleagues at Kansas State University that shows that a single compliment about a woman’s character or looks can boost her self-image.
“Simply giving someone one compliment is enough to make them feel better about themselves,” Fea tells WebMD.
Fea and colleagues studied 185 female college students at Kansas State University. The women were told that the study was about personality and appearance. Each student was taken alone into a room where a female “evaluator” pretended to scrutinize the student’s looks at length. The “evaluation” was a sham, but the students didn’t know it.
Afterward, the “evaluator” asked the student about personal interests, such as favorite books and hobbies. Next, the “evaluator” gave the student a compliment. The compliments were scripted, but the students didn’t know it.
One compliment was neutral: “Thank you for participating in this study.”
Another addressed character: “You sound like a nice person.” The third compliment focused on appearance: “You’re a nice-looking person.”
Lastly, each student went to another room to fill out questionnaires about mood and body image. The study’s true purpose was revealed before the students left.
Fea told WebMD that the surveys showed that some women tended to define themselves more by their character and inner qualities, while others dwelled more on their appearance or specific body parts, like their hips or legs.
Which compliments worked best?
It didn’t matter if the compliment addressed a woman’s character or her appearance; both types did an equally good job, Fea told WebMD.
So tell me, what’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? And how did it make you feel?
