DOBservations

You haven't really lived until you've attended Bagelfest in Mattoon, Ill. Here's DOB at Baglefest ’93 on the World's Biggest Bagel Buggy. Maybe DOB will make it down to beautiful Coles County during his vacation.

Don’t even know if blogcation is a word. Ok, I made it up last year when I went on vacation. DOBservations will be on hiatus until the first week of August when I return. Until then, follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/dob23 — I post stuff there all the time.

Before I check out, happy anniversary shoutout to Bagelfest in Mattoon, Ill. It’s the 25th year for the celebration of the bagel, the most underrated breakfast food out there.

Welcome to the longest day of the sports year — the day after the MLB All-Star Game. No games today anywhere — unless you’re into a bunch of WNBA afternoon games or the lone MLS game on the docket. So chew on these grades. With the professor going on a short sabbatical, these are my last grades until August. Listen in to WGEM SportsCenter on ESPN 1440 to hear Josh Houchins and I break these down around 8:20 on Wednesday.

A — Spain. The Spaniards finally won the big one with their 1-0 victory over the Netherlands in the World Cup title game. It capped a pretty successful World Cup in America. Ratings were way up even though the American team may not have lived up to some people’s expectations. Now, if this success for Spain spills over to that sniveling Sergio Garcia at the British Open this weekend, they’ll get an F in my next grade book.

B — LPGA. It’s probably the best-case scenario for a tour trying to find a following in a crowded American sports landscape. First, Cristie Kerr won the LPGA Championship. Then, the wildly popular Paula Creamer won the U.S. Women’s Open last weekend. For the sport to get noticed state-side, it needs Americans to win. Nothing against the South Koreans or people from other lands who do well, but the American sports fan just can’t relate.

C — Lance Armstrong. Well, he’s not going to win the Tour de France and admitted as much this week. Thankfully, he also said this year’s tour would be his last. He’s not going out on top, but it seems like Armstrong will going out on his terms, something that a lot of athletes don’t get to do. It’s not likely that we’ll ever see a person dominate the sport of cycling the way Armstrong did.

Nobody messes with Obie!

D — Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland. No, he didn’t do anything goofy in the wake of LeBron James’ decision to “take his talents to South Beach.” Even worse, Strickland wants to get rid of Obie – the live Tiger mascot at Massillon High School football games. I’ve seen Obie live, making a stop at the school during a QU football trip in 2003. Heck, I have an Obie bobblehead on my desk. Now there’s a chance Obie may survive, but even putting the Tiger in danger of being taking away really stinks.

F — Jesse Jackson. Since we haven’t heard from him lately, Jackson decided to throw a little kerosene on the fire that is the LeBron James debate. Jackson was upset with the reaction of Cavs owner Dan Gilbert. Jackson said Gilbert’s rant was that of one with a “slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave.” I didn’t see race being an issue at all in this, but Jackson played the race card. Some like ESPN’s Michael Wilbon agreed with Jackson. Others like Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock didn’t agree with Jackson’s sentiments.

Two more thoughts for you on a Tuesday:

1. We’ll never see another owner like George Steinbrenner.

The Yankees’ boss died this morning after having a heart attack. He just turned 80. He has been the dominant baseball owner of my lifetime, winning seven World Series titles since buying the team in 1973. He did it his way, too. It used to be kind of fun watching him fire and rehire manager after manager. Poor Billy Martin and Bob Lemon. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already hired and fired those guys up in heaven. Others may try to be like Steinbrenner, but no one will ever duplicate what he was able to do during his time in charge.

2. I’ll never understand the need to run on to a field during a game.

Seems like this happens all the time, but I’ll never understand people’s motivation for running on to a field. Do they really want to be on TV that much? I say they should just do like they did in Philly earlier this season and fire tasers at these people. Maybe that will stop the madness. Some dope tried to put a cap on the World Cup trophy after Sunday’s title game. He was fined all of $260 for his troubles. How is that a deterrent? At the very least, he should have been sequestered in a tiny room with the sound of 40,000 vuvuzelas for a week straight. That would have showed him.

There’s a part of me that likes what Cleveland owner Dan Gilbert did Thursday night in the wake of LeBron James’ decision to leave the Cavaliers to join the Miami Heat.

Gilbert came out swinging. ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt said during SportsCenter that the station actually had to doublecheck with the Cavaliers to make sure one no one stole some of the team’s stationary and posed as Gilbert. Turns out, the crazy statement that Gilbert issued was all him.

He sent a letter out to all Cavs fans. In it, he guarantees the team will win a title before James does and rips into James throughout. In a chat with the Associated Press, he accused James of quitting on the team.

I understand Gilbert’s rage, but as the owner of the team he should have operated a little differently after James’ announcement. If I was the Cavs’ marketing guy, I would have said told Gilbert to say something like this:

“We respect LeBron’s decision and wish him the best of luck in Miami. But the next time we see him, we’re going to kick his (butt).”

That would have been much better and made him seem a lot less psycho than he does today.

It’s the dog days of summer. Have to say it was tough finding some good grades for this week, but I pulled through like a champion. WGEM SportsCenter host Josh Houchins and I will break these down around 8:20 or so during Wednesday’s show on ESPN 1440.

A — LeBron James. No matter what happens with his free agency, James has lept to the forefront of the sports world’s consciousness. On Tuesday, James broke down and jointed Twitter, getting thousands of followers an hour. Then came the news on Tuesday night that he’s going to have a one-hour special on ESPN to make his announcement. Wonder how that commitment ceremony will go? Will he make like “The Bachelor” and give a rose to his favorite team? Maybe he’ll do like Bret Michaels on the “Rock of Love” and ask the winning team if he can “rock their world.” The media’s covering James’ every move right now. Even though he’s never won anything, the guy can’t lose.

B — John Deere Classic. Happy anniversary to the Quad Cities’ PGA Tour stop. The JDC will be held for the 40th time this weekend at the D.A. Weibring-designed TPC at Deere Run course in Silvis, Ill. How amazing is the tournament’s run. Consider this: Neither Chicago or St. Louis or Indianapolis or Minneapolis can lay claim to having a tour event for that long a run. (Chicago came close, but remember when they started to move the Western Open around last decade?) It’s a pretty good field, too, as nearly two dozen players who have qualified for next week’s British Open are in the field.

C — Prospect League. It was great for the summer wood-bat league to bring its all-star festivities to the Gem City, the first time that QU-Stadium has hosted an all-star event since 2002. Still, the biggest star on the hometown team was missing until an 11th-hour decision. University of San Diego catcher Zack Kometani has been the Quincy Gems’ best player with six home runs, 20 RBI and one of the best slugging percentages in the league at .623. It’s just an exhibition, but he deserved to be on the team from the start. Also, the game ended in a 3-3 tie? That’s weak. With apologies to Herm Edwards, you play to win the game. This isn’t the MLS.

D — Takeru Kobayashi. The one-time hot dog eating king got himself into some hot water during the July 4 Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island. Seems he had a dispute with event organizers over signing an exclusivity agreement and they told him he couldn’t eat. Wearing a “Free Kobi” shirt (not to be confused with the “Free Kobe” shirts left over from Kobe Bryant’s sex trial in Colorado a few years back), Kobayashi stormed the stage after his rival Joey Chestnut won a fourth-straight title. He got arrested for his troubles and spent the night in jail.

F — Damon Evans. The former athletic director at the University of Georgia picked a heck of a way to lose his job. He was picked up for a DUI in Atlanta with a woman who wasn’t his wife and had her underwear in his lap. And he was picked up six minutes before his new contract was to kick in that gave him a hefty raise. Maybe he should have celebrated a little differently. Evans was forced to resign his post and is now the laughingstock of the SEC.

Two random thoughts from the world of sports to try to help you get through your Tuesday:

1. If I had $10,000 to blow, I’d get in the World Series of Poker’s main event.

The finale of the World Series of Poker started Monday in Las Vegas. I used to play poker quite a bit when I was younger. Sadly, there’s not much time for cards when you’re married with two children. I’d like to be in Vegas for the spectacle that is the WSOP. If I didn’t play, I’d like to people watch. You’d see fools like the guy pictured here. Can this guy really have any chance at the top prize? Guess he does if he plays his cards right. That’s the beauty of poker, anyone can win.

2. Can we all settle down about Joey Votto already?

Everywhere I turned on Sunday and Monday, the TV seemheads were bickering about how Cincinnati’s Joey Votto should have been on the National League All-Star game. Did Votto get snubbed? Yes. He should have been on the squad before Ryan Howard. The worst part was that all of the talking heads weren’t offering up many solutions on how to get him on the team. Maybe MLB should go to 40-man rosters (up from the current 35-man rosters). That way no deserving players are left off.

Who knew that the president of Nigeria had such a cool name?

Welcome, Goodluck Jonathan. Yes, that’s really his name.

Seems the Barack Obama of Nigeria wasn’t happy with how his boys performed on the pitch at the World Cup. The Super Eagles, which is what the Nigerian national team is called, lost two games and had a draw during group play. The one measly point they mustered didn’t appease Jonathan, who said Good Night to the team.

Jonathan on Wednesday suspended the team from international competition for two years.

Don’t you think there are some owners of professional teams out there who would just love to ban their teams from playing? You’d have to think Al Davis has thought about this a time or two. Whatever sap owned the Nets before the Russian guy took over last year had to have thought anything was better than having to watch that sad bunch run around on the court.

I know there were times in the early 2000s that I would have rather had the Bulls banished from the court than watching Ron Mercer try to play hero.

The folks at FIFA are a bit bitter at Jonathan. Guess there’s a rule that there can’t be any governmental inference in issues of national soccer importance. If there wasn’t, you’d think the U.S. would have had some kind of bailout plan in place for our boys, who don’t have a cool nickname like the Super Eagles.

Hate to admit it, but FIFA’s probably right. Jonathan should stick to whatever’s ailing Nigeria and leave the soccer team’s problems to somebody else.

Believe it or not, we’re nearly halfway through 2010. My how time flies when you’re having fun. Here are your last grades for the month of June. You can hear Josh Houchins and I break these down inside the shiny new ESPN 1440 studio around 8:20 today on WGEM SportsCenter:

A — Bubba Watson. Did you ever think  you’d see a guy named Bubba win a PGA Tour event? Well, the long-hitting Watson broke through for his first win last weekend, winning a three-way playoff at the Travelers Championship. I’ve been following him on Twitter for a long time and he seems like a good guy, one you can easily get behind. Here’s to hoping for a lot more wins for Bubba.

B — Randy Neuenfeldt. OK, no one knows who this guy is and we’ll quickly forget all about him in about three minutes. Seems when Randy was an 11-year-old scamp running around San Antonio Missions baseball games, he was picked to run against the Puffy Taco — and lost. It was the Puffy Taco’s only win ever. Well, a 29-year-old Neuenfeldt got his revenge against the Puffy Taco last week and beat him senseless. Guess this is a warning for GemBird as well as Shoo-Less Joe and Rascal down at Clemens Field: Don’t ever beat a kid or they’ll come back to beat on you.

C — U.S. men’s national soccer team. The Americans wound up being who the rankings thought they were. Ranked No. 14 in the world, the U.S. did what it should have and reached the round of 16 in the World Cup. Sure there’s been a lot gnashing of teeth over the 2-1 loss to Ghana, but what more can we expect? We’re not going to win this tournament. For now, we should be happy to get through the group stage.

D — FIFA. Soccer’s governing body has been upgraded a bit since their last Grades appearance. Sepp Bladder and Co. were headed toward another “F” until coming out Tuesday and saying they’ll look at replay after the tournament is over. Originally, Bladder said the organization had no interest in bringing instant replay into the game. At least he’s listening.

F — Carlos Zambrano. Not that it was too tough to see coming, but I’d like to point out that I called  Zambrano’s latest meltdown months before it happened. So now the Cubs have sent Zambrano into timeout like he’s a 2-year old. They’re hoping some counseling will help him out. At this point, he’s really a lost cause, and the Cubs are stuck with him. He’s owed around $45 million through the end of the 2012 season and has a full no-trade clause in his contract. What a mess.

Two quick hits on the world of sports:

1. Get ready for the LeBron roller coaster

As a Chicago Bulls fan, I’d love nothing more than to see LeBron James running around the United Center next season wearing a Bulls uniform. The team has put all of its eggs in the LeBron basket. Whether or not he decides to come to the Windy City will determine my state of mind — as well as millions of other Bulls fans. If he comes, it’s like we’ve won the lottery. If he snubs us, it’s as if we lost everything (even though in reality it’s not really that bad.) Over the last 72 hours, I’ve read that the Bulls are the leaders for his services. But I’ve also read that the Miami Heat may not only get James, but Chris Bosh as well. When the free agency period starts on Thursday, it’s going to take a lot to separate fact from fiction.

2. Nationals’ rookie pitcher is good, but not an All-Star yet

There’s growing support in the media for putting Washington Nationals phenom Stephen Strasburg in next month’s All-Star Game in Anaheim. Strasburg has made just five starts this season. He’s been pretty darn good, too, with a 2-2 record and a 2.47 ERA. He’s also struck out 48 batters in 31 2/3 innings. National League manager Charlie Manuel, who will pick the pitchers for the NL roster, says he’ll keep an open mind when it comes to Strasburg. I’m guessing that Strasburg still has some work to do to impress the Phillies’ manager.

(Apologies to Dragnet)

Guy with cool announcers’ voice: “Ladies and Gentlemen: The story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the ignorant.”

Theme music, please.

This week’s Slap of the Week honor goes to a person few know, but hits close to home for DOBservations. This guy, who we’ll Jeb Roni, wound up getting your blog host temporarily banned from noon hoops at the Quincy Family YMCA.

Seems that Jeb didn’t like how I was posting up in the low block during Tuesday’s noon-time run of old guys. Jeb thought I was elbowing him, so he turned around and threw an elbow at me.

After halting play, I tried to show him that what I was doing was just a simple basketball move. Jeb Roni wasn’t having any of it. He elbowed me once again and used both of his hands to push me. Since my last playground fight happened in 1982, I wasn’t about ready to get into another scrape some 28 years later.

I turned Jeb Roni in to the powers that be, but wound up getting temporarily banned from noon ball in the process. I felt like Brazilian soccer star Kaka after he received an unwarrented red card in a World Cup group match against Ivory Coast.

My banishment lasted 48 hours during the Y’s investigation. It seems that Jeb Roni’s ban has been lifted as well, but he’s on notice that his shenanigans will no longer be tolerated.

Being that Jeb tried to rip my arm out of its socket while scrambling for a loose ball last month, I’m not holding my breath that he’s going to change any.

If you plan on coming to play noon ball at the Y, you’d better come strong or don’t come at all, I guess.